Built on Sinking Sand The House of OCD and Health Anxiety

It was the summer of 2006 when I sank deeply into the OCD with a full scale health anxiety crisis. OCD thinking is like an elaborate structure built on sinking sand. It appears so real and solid and indisputable and all the while your life is collapsing underneath you, and the logic is built on inherently unstable ground. OCD is an entire industry of thinking with very little to do with the outside world, except for the grain of truth that it inevitably latches onto.

Even writing about this summer stirs up the OCD. Part of my compulsion to make the anxiety go away was to make detailed notes about my symptoms, in hopes that I accounted for every possible thing, so my impulse, when writing this blog post, is to include every detail. The anxiety began when I agreed to take a medication which might alleviate a symptom that I obsessed about frequently. I took the medication, and started obsessing that I was getting a bladder infection, which was another one of my health anxiety themes. After fixating on every bladder sensation, and agonizing about whether to call my doctor, I finally did and she got me in at the end of the day. It is common(though perhaps not recommended) to treat women empirically if they have bladder infection symptoms, so that's what she did--no urine test.

And that began an elaborate building of health fear, one level on top of another. Because I'd had a severe headache with one antibiotic in the past, I said I wanted a different one, and in dodging one fear I landed in another as I began to obsess about getting a yeast infection from the 2nd antibiotic, and called my doctor who prescribed meds over the phone. I was overwhelmed with a surge of anger at my doctor for not doing a urine test since I had several bladder infections that turned out not to be, and since strong feelings set off my OCD, I was on very shaky ground.

Over the next weeks the OCD was compounded and grew at an alarming rate. I went to a different gynecologist, who was near my house, who did a lab test and said I did not have a bladder infection, and gave me more meds for the supposed yeast infection. I still felt urgency in my bladder, and even more urgency in my OCD desire to know exactly what was going on in my body, and perfectionistic self-condemnation for not perfectly diagnosing myself or advocating for tests, or for calling a doctor in the first place. The OCD thoughts were all about my defectiveness, and my responsibility to make sure I didn't get a kidney infection, and the imperative that I never make a mistake, and that I would be haunted by the pain and discomfort in my body.

I was on a quest to get relief from my anxious imaginings and my fixation on painful sensations in my body. I found a new family doctor, who said if I still had bladder urgency that I probably did have an infection, and she wrote a script for antibiotics, and reluctantly did a urine test at my request, but when I panicked that I did not do the test sample correctly, she went into authoritarian mode and told me to not get myself worked up, to just calm down. Well, if I could do that, I think I would have already. . .I went and cried in my car.

So here I was trying to decide whether to take another antibiotic, without test results, and the OCD structure was growing, as I felt a surge of hyperresponsibility that if I got a kidney infection it would be all my fault, so I'd better take the antibiotic. By the end of that week, I couldn't sleep at night, and I went into the doctor on a Saturday. The doctor on call was much calmer and kinder, and she prescribed another antibiotic that would be less likely to cause insomnia, but this antibiotic wreaked havoc with my digestive system. I went back to the doctor on call who happened to have my test results, and once again it showed I didn't have a bladder infection but that I did have blood in my urine, and she wanted me to see a urologist.

By this time I was a mess. My therapist Molly was on vacation. I went to see the therapist on call, and told her how I couldn't get this right, couldn't figure out what was wrong with my body, that I needed to try harder. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said that it seemed I had been working incredibly hard to find out what was wrong, with multiple doctor visits and relentless researching on the computer. I was baffled by this. This did not make sense in my OCD world, where I was never good enough, never finished, never solved, never certain.

She wrote a few sentences on a scrap of paper, and gave it to me:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.

May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May I be well in body and mind.

May I be at ease and happy.

This was a glimmer from outside the windows of the house of OCD, the possibility of another way to view the world. Feeling body symptoms can be hard enough without the "inner dangers" of OCD. I was to descend further into my OCD, but I had a moment of reprieve.

*********************
Thinking about it now, this is part 7.5 of my Medication Series, since it was my first OCD crisis after ceasing to take my antidepressant.

Part 1: OCD and Medication Decisions
Part 2: Starting Medication while Struggling
Part 3: The Limits of Research in Medication Decisions
Part 4: My First Prescription for SSRI's
Part 5: Feeling it in the Jaw: Side Effects of Medication
Part 6: Being on Medication & OCD Weeping
Part 7: Wanting to Get off my Medication

Tips On Getting The Right Anxiety Treatment

By Lena Stephenson

There are some people who are going through depression. There are various reason why they do so, there are those who went through such a phase due to something very emotionally-wrecking that just happened to them. There are some who had to go through drastic changes that their state of emotions could not take it. Still, there are those who just suffered from it for no reason at all.

It is important for people to secure the right assistance, the appropriate help towards getting the condition address. One needs to understand that there are certain anxiety treatment Charlotte that can help him deal with the depression, this is important especially since not treating the condition is only likely to cause considerable aftermath in the end.

It should be noted though that many of the sufferers of this condition in Charlotte, NC admit to having their lives drastically change because of the emotions that they are feeling. Many would agree that the condition can affect the way people live their lives. Their quality of life can drastically change, at the same time, there is a good chance that people with untreated depression might actually become suicidal.

Many of the experts who have dealt with these kinds of conditions before suggest that the best way to deal with it is to set goals. Sure, this is going to be hard at first. The person feeling the negative emotions will only likely to feel that there is nothing that he can do. However, establishing goals and the establishing a routine would help him have something to aim for.

A good choice would be to exercise. People who are feeling down will find that going through a workout routine will actually help them feel a lot better afterward. The reason for this is because exercising tends to be helpful in getting the body to release endorphin. They are considered the feel-good hormones. So, they might hep one feel better in the process. Also, it is important for one to eat the right food.

Make sure that he gets enough sleep. It matters that one s able to rest well in order for the e brain and the body to recharge. Most depressed people tend to have a hard time getting the minimum number of hours of sleep every night. This can further cause the condition to worsen. Try to have fun too. There are activities that you can do with friends or loved ones that will help you feel better.

Taking on responsibilities may cause a positive effect to a depressed person too. Most of the time, those who suffer from the condition feel the way they do because they seem to think that they can never seem to do anything right. They may be in that point in their life where they think that anything that they do will just be no good, so, introducing them to small responsibilities might help them recover.

If after you have tried out these self remedies and you do not think that they are actually helping you in any way, then it would be time for you to seek out professional assistance. There are experts that can help guide you through this darkest time in your life towards getting back on your feet again. Just find the right people who can be capable of assisting you.

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Effective Services From Psychotherapy For Anxiety San Francisco

By Christa Jarvis

In most cases people might experience problems such as unrelenting worries, obsession thoughts; incapacitating phobia among others can be associated with anxiety. People need to live free from such fears emanating from unexplained sources. This will only be possible if such individual seeks professional psychotherapy for anxiety San Francisco who provides unique therapeutic services geared towards meeting the needs of service seekers.

These strategies are significant in assisting individuals on how to control such feelings, conquer fears, stopping worrisome thought among others. Research indicates that treating these disorders through therapy is more than medication and is viewed as the best approach.

Research findings indicate that through therapeutic process, individuals suffering from anxiety will be able to receive better treatments than medical intercessions. Since the approach will treat problems not just treating the symptoms. The approach will assist in uncovering hidden cause of problems such as fears and worries, teaching the patients to remain calm, establishing problem solving skills and copying strategies. This skill plays a critical role in assisting patients to recover from such problems.

Importantly, anxiety disorder differs greatly from other psychological problems to specific symptoms concerns displayed by the client. For instance, if the therapist observes obsessive compulsive disorder this treatment must be different from someone getting assistance for anxiety attacks. Similarly, the length of the therapy will also be dependent on the severity of the disorder. However, most severity disorders necessities long-term therapies. As indicated by the American psychological Association, many individuals such disorders have registered a significant improvement within 8 to 10 therapeutic sessions.

Despite numerous approaches suggested to be used in treating anxiety, exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are the leading strategies. Each strategy can be implemented independently or integrated with other approaches. The process can either be conducted individually or in group settings with people with similar disorder and magnitude.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most frequently and widely used therapy in treating such disorders. Several research works indicates its effectiveness in treating disorders such as phobias, sexual and generalized anxiety disorder as well as other conditions. This approach addresses negative patterns and distortions in the way we look at ourselves and the world. As suggested in its name, it involves two major components.

The cognitive components deal with how negative thoughts or cognition are contributing to the disorder. While behavioral components deals with how the patient behaves and reacts triggers anxiety. Its basic principle is that our thought and not external events affects the way we feel. That is, not the situation an individual is in that may determine their feeling but how they perceive such situations.

Another commonly used strategy is exposure therapy, just as its name suggests it assist in exposing individuals to situations or objects which they fear. Repeated exposure makes it possible to go off such feelings.

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Discover the options in psychotherapy for anxiety San Francisco residents rely on by viewing our web pages today. To know more about hypnosis for examinations or to request a free quote, use the links at http://www.hypnosisfortestanxiety.com right now.

My First Dental Filling along with Health Anxiety

I had my dental check up last month, with a new dentist because my old dentist wasn't on the insurance list, and when the dentist called out the number 15 when probing, I knew that couldn't be a good sign. I am in my 40's and never had a cavity. I went home and looked up adult cavities, and stopped after about 10 minutes. In the past I would've searched repeatedly, in hopes of finding the exact answer as to why I had a cavity, and how best to have it filled, so I can tell I've come a long way.

I had it filled yesterday, and there was a whole wave of things to stir up my health anxiety. First, the dentist asks if I want a silver filling or a white filling. I had a moment of "Oh, shit. I have to make a decision. I'm not prepared for this," and I ask what the difference is. He says it's "six of one, half a dozen of the other"--no absolute winner. It's like going to class and discovering a pop quiz and you haven't read the chapter. I picked the silver filling because it was a)cheaper and b)would probably last longer(when I asked which lasted longer the dentist said, "I'm not a fortune teller, but I'd say the silver.") Uncertainty all over the place.

All sorts of tidbits of things I'd heard in the past bubbled up while waiting for the numbing to take effect(what if I'm allergic to novacaine? What if?? What if I chose the wrong thing? What about all those people who are afraid of silver fillings?) I had my knitting which helped, as did thinking of Leonard, and all I've learned from him in Exposure Therapy, and the fact that we really aren't fortune tellers. We take our best guess, and sometimes the outcome sucks.

The sound of the drill wasn't as bad as I thought it would it would be, though it smelled like burning hair. I was pretty calm until I heard the dentist opening and shutting drawers, because he couldn't find something he needed--he's filling in for the regular dentist who is ill, and never used the item he wanted. So I'm listening to him improvising with the dental assistant with whatever they have on hand. The dentist ended by telling me that if I have some sensitivity to heat or cold, it will go away with time. I wanted to say, "I have OCD. My symptoms don't f-ing go away. . ." but I didn't because I know that there is a chance it will actually go away on its own if I let the fear be there, and go on with my life, rather than researching and checking the tooth constantly with my tongue.

I'm proud of myself that I haven't looked up the potential dire consequences of silver fillings, or a lack of cavity varnish. I woke up today wanting to look it all up because I was getting the insistent, "What if you screwed up? What if the sensitivity in your tooth won't go away?" Because, yes, cold water hurts my tooth. Finally I recognized that it's only the day after the dental work. It's too soon to tell. The OCD wants an answer NOW. But if I try to accelerate the answer to tamp down my fear, I will make it worse. If I repeatedly test the tooth with cold water, it is going to bring it to my attention and not give it a chance to get better. It might not. But I am practicing tolerating that uncertainty. That doesn't mean I like it, but I have things I want to do with my life, and probing my tooth will certainly lead to being stuck in compulsions, rather than making art.

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